two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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