not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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