i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
my poor anus
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
