honey bunches of taint.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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