she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
