I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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