I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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