that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize