Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
