You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
