im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
