Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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