I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize