Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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