Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
