Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
