He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize