i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
