I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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