your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
