I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize