Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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