when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
