It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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