you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
