Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
