i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
