We're facebook friends in real life
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
