If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
