It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize