I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
