So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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