He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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