Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
