not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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