yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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