Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
