I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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