Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
