By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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