I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
