So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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