i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
