Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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