Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
