Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize