i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
