We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
