I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
No subtext here. People are naked.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
