Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
