Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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