It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize