is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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