I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
So vagazzling was a success
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
