I didn't shave. On purpose
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i think i just lost a toe
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize