i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
