Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize