Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
