so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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