I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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