she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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