i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
