You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
