ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize