Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
