Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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