Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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