Porn is love you can see.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
