pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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