I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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