Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
