No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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