Where did you get a picture of my penis
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
