so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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