did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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