I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
