can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
