i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Are my feet made of real feet?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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