i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
