i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
