i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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