If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
