STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
is wine microwaveable?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
