Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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